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This is a re-post of a poem from a couple of months ago. I got up the courage and not only read but performed it live. I came home proud and jacked on endorphins so recorded it for my blog as well. It was better live and I didn’t screw up like I did here…No I’m not going to point out where. You’ll just have to take my word for it. 🙂

always in the end I ask
why not?
and you like the others wretch
at the idea of ‘friends’

how can what was once so tightly knit
now become a knotted mess tossed
no, burnt and fearfully stomped
how does “if I can’t fuck you then
I fuckin’ hate you” make sense

who erased the grey?

or is it an island like Lemuria
sunk into oblivion bay
off the coast of what once was
soon to be lost in the folklore of extremes
nothing between dragons and queens
no room for me

I, who closed my legs and decided not
to share my refrigerator
now a traitor?
haphazardly raft-strapped and water-logged
send me off to where the blues become gray
down with the Lemurians
where love lives outside the lines
and lovers are allowed to change their minds

because they’ve learned the ebb and flow of things
that growing is change, and change is expected
like the hermit crab who leaves her shell
her evolution accepted as she seeks out a better fit

no shell ever hated the exiting crab
and the hermit loved them all from smallest to big
loved them as if they all played parts in a prewritten story
scribed upon the sand by the sea herself

maybe if I grew a tail you would no longer focus
on what you can’t have but instead
on what I’ve become
and love me again
this time as the sister of your soul

if you could read hermit tracks you would see
it’s one great web connecting us for lifetimes
not always cast as lovers
but you can’t read them
and instead wish me washed
upon those grey grains
with only my high ideals
for friends