empty, pointless
some days are just like this
hollow like that Dolly Madison pie
I hungrily bit into only to find it
unfilled, no cherry, no pudding
the fact that I missed breakfast
cruelly obvious as I dined on air
you, with a quick phrase
could fill me
leave me sweetly glowing
a paragraph might overwhelm
cream leaking from my seams
not sugar just facts you’d say
yet your effect stronger than liquor
I watch the box and check the clock
hoping that you will
praying that you don’t
if you do I will float and feel necessary
but if you do there will be a price to pay
weak and willing you’ll prove me to be
a brittle pastry of a girl
Dark Angel 
fantastic piece, will re-tweet this to my followers. x
Well thanks shingcityonthehill!
You sound fierce and strong..I like it ~
Thanks Heaven, though I feel weak. 😉
You have no idea how much I identify with this poem. Wow. get out of my head, Dark Angel. You know, long ago I used to be addicted those Dolly Madison pies, especially the chocolate ones. Now I seem to be addicted to a different kind of sugar, a more compelling sweetness, with its instant high and later low. And I am no stronger than the speaker in your poem.
I’m looking at the attendant picture for your poem. When I was ten or twelve, The Tijuana Brass were absolutely everywhere. This album cover was ubiquitous, and in it, perhaps, the seeds of something I had begun to feel. Never trust a raven-haired woman covered in whipped cream. She may go on to rule your life!
Fireblossom your comments are always such a treat. I think Whip Cream came out the year I was born but I remember the sound. Strange how similar our poems are in theme this week.
Addictive confection
I’m currently looking for a 12 step program.
smiles…i like the crust though…goes well with the filling…but it is essential…very nice textures to this write…
Glad to make you smile Brian.
This reminded me of a documentary I saw on a pastry chef competition held in France. They create enormous sugar sculptures that are amazingly intricate but phenomenally fragile. I had to endure the heart shattering site of one of these babies crashing down, potent stuff.
I saw something similar. It seems the more beautiful were the more fragile.
Love the metaphoric imagery. The empty pie shell – the brittle pastry girl. Great stuff! And wonderfully written! Thanks, G.
Thank Gay!
sugary sweet and sensual piece!
Sinfully sweet 😉
I’m only five in and the writing keeps getting better! Thought this a wonderful write, found lots of mystery within your words that allow my mind to wonder from the obvious to the not so obvious. Sweet…but not too sweet 😉
sweet and I love it!
Thanks Ayala.
Thanks for reading me Tashtoo. The obvious is only a device to take you to the less so.
oh my goodness….this was delicious write…
I’m glad you found it tasty Claudia.
I absolutely love every single thing about this. I do believe it is brilliant! There are too many great lines to pick out a favorite, so I pick the whole thing as my favorite.
What a sweet comment Lori, thank you so much.
This is brilliant. No other word for it.
I’m quite happy with “brilliant”. -grin-
There are just some things that tempt us to no end, leave us weak. Nicely put.
“Temped us to know end” yep I have a few of em.
This is very sweet and full of sugar. it is almost like a cook off of chefs in a cooking competition. Very well done and so strongly states.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/27/addiction-to-solitaire/#comment-1201
Thanks for your comment Sarah.
Tasty. And of course the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!
Oh, I’ve been going about this all wrong then!
mmm…now I’m hungry! This was terrific
Thanks Caty!
Flaky pastry – naughty but nice! 🙂
“Flaky” puts another twist in this altogether Jinksy! lol.
Decadent!
I’m glad you think so Aida.
Love the imagery, especially in that second verse. sensual & delicious!
Greetings slubhan. I’m glad you like it.
Your picture made me think I was going to get either erotica or the usual love poem, and I got instead a very well written, original and creative read–possibly a love poem, or even anti-love poem–but not the usual…and I love your analogy. The pie here is definitely not empty.
Hi Hedgewitch. “Usual love poem” You have my permission to impale me with my own quill if I ever do that!
Your first two lines and your last line are my favorites.
Thanks Shawn, and thanks for coming by.
Loved the whole concept, Angel. And I’m old enough to recognize the photo from the cover of the old Herb Alpert LP, “Whipped Cream & Other Delights.” and that fits the piece, as well. Great job.
I think one of my older sisters had the album as I remember it also. Thanks for coming by Joe.
absolutely wonderful, this poem is!
feels like first time having sex, the anticipation and fear of coming out hollow. all is encrusted in this beautiful poem. keep writing.
Does it? That was a few decades ago for me… 🙂 Actually that is when the actual empty pastry incident occurred… on the way to highschool.
The last line really brings it hard together, a nearly perfect metaphor.
“Nearly perfect” I’ll keep trying.